The Boatniks (1970)

A bumbling ensign (Robert Morse) takes command of a U.S. Coast Guard vessel in San Diego, California. Three equally bumbling jewel thieves (Phil Silvers, Norman Fell, Mickey Shaughnessy) plot to use a boat that will get them and their stolen loot to Mexico. But a pretty local girl (Stefanie Powers) working at the docks is very suspicious of the three men. Directed by Norman Tokar, the film screams out "1970s live action Disney family comedy!". Instead of Dean Jones, we get Morse but they're interchangeable. The film's idea of laughs are people falling overboard, cans of paint spilling on people, boats colliding and Wally Cox as a chick magnet. The most amusing thing about the film remains the title's play on beatniks. When Don Ameche as a Coast Guard commander says, "It's the old Conrad Veidt trick!", one has to wonder if the parents in the audience, much less the 11 year olds, knew who Veidt was. Morse and Silvers give it the old college try and they're professionals and this was the bland kind of roles Powers was stuck with until HART TO HART rescued her. Still, the film was enough of a hit that Disney rereleased theatrically 7 years later. With Vito Scotti, Al Lewis and Florence Halop.