Rock Of Ages (2012)

In 1987 Los Angeles, an Oklahoma girl (Julianne Hough) hoping to break into show business meets up with an aspiring rock star (Diego Boneta) and romance blooms. That about sums it up. The paper thin plot and cliched narrative are stupefying in their obviousness though the film doesn't take itself seriously. While not quite the horror I expected, it's still pretty dreadful. Is there a market for Tom Cruise singing heavy metal and Catherine Zeta Jones doing Pat Benatar covers? Hilariously, Hough and Boneta are the most wholesome, clean scrubbed metalheads in movie history, they look right out of a production of GREASE. The film's vibes are phony. It's watered down heavy metal rock made digestible for the MAMMA MIA crowd. Only Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand as a rock club owner and his manager look authentic. Tom Cruise (who's singing is pretty good actually) is unconvincing as a heavy metal rock star but he's a true Star and he uses he's swaggering movie star's presence to his advantage here. Mia Michaels' choreography is unnatural and awkward. I haven't seen the Broadway musical it's based on but it must have had something the movie lacks to have been a hit. Directed by Adam Shankman (HAIRSPRAY). Also with Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston, Malin Akerman, Will Forte and the terrific Mary J. Blige who should have been given more to do.